My name is Tim, I am an introvert that is a Technology Guru with extreme social anxiety and mild ptsd with insomnia. I am also the son of a pastor and grew up in a bible believing non-denominational church. This weighed heavily on me constantly when it came to marijuana. When I first experienced smoking weed as a teenager, it was peer pressure that got me, it was at a rebellious time in my life. That doesn’t mean that my beliefs were not weighing on me, but at the same time it gave me a feeling I enjoyed, not just enjoyed I felt calmer like the person I knew I was inside.

I discussed with my father multiple times. He was not happy that I had tried marijuana but at the same time he didn’t scold me or look at me different for using it. He took the time to do his own research and explained things to me, he explained how it was illegal, but that is the part that stuck out in my head, dad is just worried about it being illegal. Of course still being rebellious I felt I could handle things. I ended up going down the rabbit hole with many different drugs, not just marijuana. Those were not the wisest of choices, those were not smart at all, the complete opposite actually. Expanding your mind, isn’t necessarily a good thing. It can really cause effects that hit you well after the immediate effects are over. I now suffer some of the consequences of those decisions that I made as a rebellious teenager / young adult, but I did learn from them.

My father passed away in 2005, and the last few years of his life I was his stay-at-home caregiver. I was always on the computer working on something, doing something, researching something. I now realize I should have spent more time with him while he was here, asking questions that I would love to have his opinion on. I can’t ask him my questions now, but I do have a great deal of understanding of religion and Christianity on multiple levels. After high school I took numerous courses from Moody Bible Institute on various religions of the world as well as a deep understanding of the bible.

Now it was up to me to figure out the internal religious struggles that I had with smoking. Some scholars still today debate the question of whether God meant Moses to use cannabis as part of an anointing oil when he spoke of a plant called kaneh-bosem, in Exodus 30:22-30. In the Bible it says that the body is a temple, and that God created herbs to serve humanity. The flip-side of this is that Christian traditions often view cannabis as a tool of the devil, and denounce as a sinful indulgence of pleasure. The 1936 Cult/Drama propaganda film “Reefer Madness was produced by a Christian Church Group. But that itself, you can tell has a slanted take on marijuana. Not everyone is a reefer feind wanting to get high. So I had to look deeper into things to look for more information.

In the Christian faith, it is widely accepted that the body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. (Corinthians 6:19-20). Drugs used with the purpose of healing the body and relieving pain may be seen as medicine and a natural part of life. Luke, an apostle of Jesus and wrote one of the Gospels, was a physician, and he prescribed medication(Colossians 4:14). God created herbs for the service of humanity(Psalm 104:14).

The more I learned, the more I was realizing it wasn’t cannabis itself that was the issue, but the moderation of things. Alcohol itself is a drug, and is in most of our cold medicine as well. Jesus himself turned water into wine at a wedding(John 2:1-11). Even still today wine is used in certain religious ceremonies as is considered very sacred. But wine drank in abundance and getting drunk is absolutely frowned upon(Ephesians 5:18). But even its psychoactive effects and recreational enjoyment are understood as an element of celebration and enjoyment in the bible(Psalm 104:14-15). On the other side of things again, the Bible does say that we should remain alert and clear-headed in order to serve our neighbor and spread God’s love(I Peter 5:8).

To me this meant that God gave us the plants and herbs when he created the earth. What we do with these things that God has given us, is solely up to us. Do we use things as medicine or do we use things for recreational and in everything we do remember moderation. The same as I shouldn’t take more than I should of NyQuil, I also shouldn’t take more than I need of marijuana. This appeased many aspects of my head that were questioning and doubting one way or another. At least I had a better understanding of how religion views cannabis on both sides of the fence, not just one way or another.

I still struggled for a long time with the idea that I knew smoking marijuana was illegal, but I felt it calmed my brain down, it helped me focus, it helped me feel normal. But the keyword in that was it was illegal. I always felt that ‘Breaking the Law’ feeling. That in turn caused paranoia, which amplified the social anxiety, and totally re-enforced the introvert side of me.

Luckily legislature has passed laws which allow Medical Marijuana in Florida. This opened the doors for me. At 17 I discovered marijuana, but it took until I was 39 to get it legally. All those years of that feeling has taken its toll, but at same time it was limiting. I could only find what was available to me from whoever I could find that had any available. That doesn’t really let you have many options. What I have discovered since the legalization is there is a vast world out there to explore. So I decided to make it an educational journey of discovery.

When I went to the doctor to get prescribed medical marijuana I had a long conversation with my doctor about how I felt, because he kept re-assuring me that it was a safe place to talk. I explained my thoughts about how it effects me, and he asked me questions that made me start thinking about how I can control everything so much better.

How much do I smoke and why? What method do I want to intake my marijuana. I’ve got used to smoking out of bongs, hookahs, pipes, soda-can or an apple in a pinch, but every bit of that dealt with smoking. I’ve used a giant vaporizer that my friend imported from Amsterdam, but was vaping now different? I’ve gone to Amsterdam, and have eaten edibles at coffee shops and smoked over there, but I’ve never made my own edibles.

All the options at the dispensaries opened the flood gates of options to start my journey. Discovering what was it that I needed. Is there a ratio of CBD:THC that is better? What do I need more of CBD or THC? How do I feel when I try? This is what lead me here today. I truly hope that the information on here helps you in your own journey.